a little vacation

Oh gosh, its been so long. Where do I start?

First off, BB proposed. We are getting married August 6th of 2011. I am really excited and throwing myself into this wedding planning thing full force. I know it's a long way off, but I love this type of stuff and planning.

Second, I survived my first semester of school after coming back. I did relatively well I think, I made an A 2 C's and a B. I work full time as well.

Christmas was not bad, I must admit. I was not in a horrible mood, but I had my moments. I also found myself thinking about where I was at this time last year (pregnant) and how I thought then that I would have a cuddly little baby with me this Christmas. Oh, how wrong I was. That's what I miss most. What could've been, and what should've been. Not neccessarily for me, but for McKenna. She was robbed of everything.

I just want to throw this out there, is it wrong for me to think of McKenna as a fully developed human? I only made it to 20 weeks. I didn't think of her as a child with a personality and all that comes along with being alive until after I lost her.

That leaves me with why I haven't been writing. I get on here frequently and look around, but when I go to type, Im out of words. Or, I start thinking things that make me want to cry. I cry too much. That's my problem.